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lantiis
What are you diagnosed with?

Not a very proper or pleasant question to have asked - it's like asking, "What's wrong with you?" It is just rude... And it isn't something I talk about much with people I don't know very well - and the people I know well don't ever ask ironically... But I will happily display my wares for you wandering folks who happen to pass by wondering what the heck I am always going on about or why I suddenly just mood or emotion or snap...


A diagnosis of any of these things makes life super difficult but can be overcome (mental or physical). I am not on disability - though this is through being properly medicated and staying ON my meds (going off my meds creates a whole new Liz/Lantiis that this world is just not prepared for!)...


Mental Health Diagnoses

Bipolar I Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder with Cluster B Traits

Delusional Disorder

Mood Disorder

Anxiety Disorder (with Panic Attacks)

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (list-writing)

Suicidal Thoughts

PTSD


Physical Health Diagnoses

Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Diarrhea (IBS-D)

Menstrual Migraines

Left Knee Bursitis and Tendinitis

Polymorphous Light Eruption (PMLE)

I also have an un-diagnosed movement disorder (rocking)


How do you do it?

I cry a lot... Seriously, but I am also holding down a job via an employer who is super helpful and empathetic to my medical issues. I have a very strong online support system, and over the years, my local support system has grown as well (a support system is super important for mental health!). I take my meds as directed by my doctor - and I participate in therapy (all in or nothing - because you get back what you put into it!).


I hyper focus on family: my child, my parents, and my amazing friends who are as important to me as family, and I cling to them as a lifeline. I also make time to involve myself in activities that keep me calm and generally happy. For me these are doing digital and traditional art, puzzles with my child, cleaning everything, arranging and rearranging the house, going out walking with my kid and our dog, doing guided meditations, etc.


I listen too - not always easy and sometimes I just shut down or have such brainfog I don't hear or can't remember, but I sure try! It takes a lot out of me to listen when I've been triggered, so perhaps don't trigger me and then expect me to be reasonable and listen to you...


That's another thing: KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS. I can't possibly list all mine, but a few bigger triggers I don't mind sharing for me are:


1. loud or sudden noises (or sneaking up on me - not funny!)

2. intense flashes of light (night driving is super hard!)

3. grabbing any part of me without notice

4. crowds of people / white noise

5. being in the pitch dark (like zero light)

6. saying/texting anything that makes me relive or flash to a trigger memory


Most times when I am triggered, I end up with a panic attack. The severity depends on lots of factors. With practice, I can usually keep the worst at bay through breathing exercises and grounding. If I can't, well sometimes I just black out - literally and figuratively. I lose a lot of what led up to a panic attack and the attack itself - have very little memory of it if it gets too bad. And then sometimes I physically black out for a minute or more. Always fun to crumple to the ground because come hell or high water, nobody ever catches you >.<


Well that is it.

I hope it was a little bit informative - a small window into my world. Maybe, dare I hope, a little helpful. And I know that all looks overwhelming tho you have to understand in mental health, you rarely have just one disorder - they kinda crossover and come in packs like herds of assholes...

lantiis Sep 15 · Tags: personal
lantiis

REUNION BLISS

I won't lie - I did have fun. The memories remembered and newly make me tear up. My daughter had a great time with her cousin and played with an adorable baby! She is still talking about her time with our family and how much fun she had! If nothing else, that makes the trip worth it!! HOWEVER, I got to see my grandparents again, and while it was good to see everyone else, my grandparents were where my heart was at! Being able to sit and chat, hug on, and laugh with all of them made this trip a joy for me! Also, the lakehouse we stayed at was top notch! I could LIVE there!


BUT ALSO BOTHERSOME

Not the people - more like NATURE and EMOTIONAL STATES.... or the REVENGE OF NATURE and EMOTIONAL STATES LOL... Bug bites, sunrash (not sunburn - I have PMLE and forgot suncreen and sunsleeves), exhaustion from being away from home, worry for the same reason, and the stomach hell of being off diet (I am Low-FODMAP per 3 doctors). Oh and the looooooooooong ass drive! A 1000+ miles is not for the faint of heart... Also, I missed seeing some fabulous people - they simply couldn't make it. That was sad - I rarely get to see family, so having one out with a broken leg, a family unable to come so they can help said member with a broken leg, and another group that just couldn't make it because of financial responsibilities.... well, I missed out on some greatness :(


Overall Rating: 7/10

Food: 4/10 OK but off diet

Health: 2/10 was not feeling well

People: 10/10 best part

Drive: 0/10 the worst!

Lakehouse: 10/10 amazing place to stay at!

lantiis Jul 27 · Tags: personal, vacation, rating
lantiis
The new website is up and showcases a default (but customized) theme on the Oxwall platform. I will be mostly microblogging with a dinky blog to go into details on items I find 'worthy' lol


Some new updates: 7/9/19!

Commissions are open to all again.

I closed my Patreon - could not keep up.

New pricing on commissions - please update yourselves.

New About Me - got something to add? Lemme know!

Also a more comprehensive FAQ is available!

Art gallery is sorted and a thing (also hot mess lol)

I can be found on less and less sites - too much to keep up with!


In other news...

The kiddo and I are doing great! We will be experiencing a vacation in the very near future! It is a family reunion, and we are both very excited (if not a bit apprehensive) to go. 


Our 4th of July was kind of ploopy - Emma decided she was afraid of everything. She was a serious buzzkill and cried all night when she realized she was a buzzkill and didn't get to do all the fun things bc she basically refused. :/ Spending the 4th with my dad tho was awesome! Got some good quality time just chit-chatting and laughing about a bunch of nothing haha! Got some good life lessons in too :3


Work is busy which is good. I am expanding my duties and getting my feet wet in group sales which is interesting and kind of fun. Going between two hotels makes for lines crossed, but my GMs are always cool and laugh along with me!


Upcoming Arts before I go on Vacation!! [hopefully lol]

Headshot for Nicky's Headshot Exchange

A slew of the last few patron rewards!

A MYO Hoshi-Fawn (they were so sweet and unbanned me)

2 Fairy-Keeper Pony Adopts

A MYO Pakkeli from Pakkeli-Cluster

A MYO Pavesi from Pakkeli-Cluster

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